Do's and Don't for a Parenting Toolbox
Part 1 of 3

Teens know more about pharmacology, computer science, and telecommunications than any generation before them. Being a pro-active parent is essential if we want to keep our children safe and healthy in this dangerous and ever-changing world. Here are some pro-active tools for your parenting toolbox that will help you achieve this goal:

1. Don’t be in denial.  Acknowledge that drugs and alcohol exist in your child’s world.  Underage drinking and drug use is considered rights of passage in the minds of today’s preteens and teens.  Parents, don’t allow yourself to think, “that could not happen to me.” The results could be deadly if you do.  Drugs and alcohol are everywhere and they know no boundaries.  Never assume.  Never deny.  Always be aware.

   
   

2. Get to know your child’s friends and their friend’s parents.  Always be aware of the company your child keeps and give yourself permission to reject anyone whom you feel is questionable.  Don’t chicken out and settle for “peace at any price.”  You’ll regret it in the long run.  In addition, stay in close communication with the parents of your child’s friends.  Exchange ideas and work together to enforce the rules.

   
   

3. Married or divorced, parents need to parent together.  Children can be master manipulators and make it their business to know the weakest link in the parental chain.  Being on the same page with your child’s other parent (whether you are married or divorced) sends a clear message to your adolescent that rules and boundaries are to be respected and obeyed.  When parents are divorced, I cannot emphasize enough the importance of working together.  I know from experience that this is easier said than done but team work and a united front will pay big dividends in the end.

4. Set rules and boundaries and enforce the consequences.  Rules and consequences are the basic foundation of good parenting and they mean nothing if they are not enforced.  Make sure the punishment fits the crime and be consistent in following through.  The parent who is inconsistent hands his child the power every time.  Believe it or not, kids want structure and boundaries but they don’t possess the emotionally maturity to express the need.

5. Never negotiate the rules, especially a curfew.  Curfews serve two purposes: They increase your teen’s odds of arriving home safely, and they give parents’ peace of mind and a better night’s sleep.  A non-negotiable curfew automatically eliminates potential trouble that could be waiting as the night wears on.  There really is truth in the fact that nothing good happens after midnight.  Let your teen earn your trust in the beginning so that down the road, on those special occasions, their curfew can be extended.