5 Solutions to Raise Responsible, Resilient, and Respectful Children

Raise responsible, resilient, and respectful children following these five proven rules from etiquette experts, Lori Weiner and Dr. Jodi Stoner.

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Before leaving the house, set clear guidelines for the behavior you expect from your children.
If you recognize a disrespectful/unacceptable behavior your child exhibits, rehearse the correct behavior ahead of time. Verbalize a positive statement such as, "I know you will stay at the table until Uncle Tim excuses you. You can play with your cousins after dinner. I know you will do the right thing because you always make us so proud."
When you replace a negative behavior with a positive one, allow your children to do the right thing, and give your children credit, it becomes a win-win for everyone.

In these difficult financial times, children must be taught the difference between wants and needs. Most children want what they see on TV and what their friends have.
Teach your child the value of a dollar, how to compare prices in the store and the concept of "today we will be looking, not buying."
As children get older, discuss menu prices when dining out.
Allow children to participate in the purchase of a big-ticket item using their (earned) allowance money.

Use your Parent Power to counter whining and temper tantrums regarding appropriate dress. Clothing must fit the occasion. Make rules that are fair and stick to them.
If your child wants to wear hoop earrings at age 5, the answer is NO. Don't put your child in a situation where they even have clothing and accessories that are inappropriate.
Is your child wearing "mini-me" versions of what you wear? The anecdote is to give your child two choices of appropriate clothing she can wear and let her decide.
Positively reinforced statements such as “those purple socks look so cool! " will gives her supportive encouragement for picking out something she likes, that is still appropriate.

Why do you have to remind your child to make his bed or put her dirty clothes in the hamper? Chores must be a non-negotiable manner mandate.
Family chores are a way of being part of the family unit and each family needs a visible workable chore chart to keep everyone accountable.
Keep it fair - Setting/clearing the table, vacuuming, keeping common areas neat, should be rotated with all family members,
No trading, no whining, no tantrums. Chores are a matter of fact of family life and if you don't expect it, it will not get done. No chores, no privileges. Simple.

Unfortunately, Sports TV regularly captures and reports on sport's heroes Manner Meltdowns.
Seize the opportunity to use this as a perfect in- the- moment manner training.
Be sure to say, "that was so disrespectful," or "she was very unprofessional," or "how do you think the other player feels?"
Encourage your child to respect individual differences and contributions by other team players. Congratulate the winning team, too.
Remember to keep yourself in check, too. You may get triggered by a referee making a bad call, and will need to find a way to keep yourself under control. Children watch you on and off the field all the time!

By:

Lori Gersh Weiner, Author, Etiquette and Executive Coach.

Dr. Jodi Stoner, Author/Psychotherapist/Etiquette Expert

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