Teaching Kids About SEX (Parental Discretion)

As parents we cringe at the thought of our precious ones even hearing about anything to do with sex let alone knowing about it or worse, experiencing it!  One study even suggested that most parents deny that their own children think about sex but believe that most of their child’s friends are sexual.  

Do we tend to ignore the reality that sex is in our kid’s life from the time they are in elementary school?  Do we just push off the pressure and responsibility on “other people’s kids” or “the media”? Are we facing the reality of the increased presence and pressure facing our children and are we brave enough to tackle the topic head on with our own children?

Often time parents face the following when it comes to discussing sexuality:

1. They deny that their child(ren) knows anything about sexual topics

2. They deny their child is curious about sex

3. They are embarrassed to talk about sex with their child

4. They feel unworthy to discuss purity if they did not remain pure until marriage

5. They feel ill-equipped to discuss sexuality in a healthy, biblical context.  

Research suggests that kids not only know about sex from an early age, but that they are participating in it by the time they are teens!  According to the Kaiser Foundation’s study on US Teen Sexual Activity:

• The median age for sexual intercourse is 16.9 for boys and 17.4 for girls!

• In 2003 47% of teens had been sexually active

• 1995, 49% of males aged 15-19 said had received oral sex; 39% had given oral sex

• Among teens aged 15-17 who have never had sexual intercourse, 94 % said that concern about pregnancy influenced their decision to wait. Similar numbers said that concern about HIV/AIDS (92%), other STDs (92%) and feeling ‘too young’ (91%) contributed to their choice.

Most people weren’t taught sex in a healthy, biblical context. “Studies tell us that only 10 to 15 percent of junior high and high school students receive positive, healthy, value-centered sex education at home,” reports Dr. Jim Burns, author of the Pure Foundations book series on sex.  Unfortunately, it’s more of the exception than the rule when it comes to sex-ed.  Sure, we all took the awkward classes in school, but did that really teach us about what God has to say about sex?  Or what the true, heart reasons are to abstain?  After all, if we don’t teach our children from a heart/soul standpoint, then it boils down to the physical reasons to abstain, and those aren’t biblical or long-lasting reasons!  With a little more knowledge, most people figure out a way around the physical reasons not to have sex such as use of birth control and other contraceptives.  

Dr. Burns has written God-honoring, educational books for every age.  From a biblical perspective he addresses everything from differences in boys and girls, anatomy, love and family, God’s plan for sex, how babies are made and even adoption.   The books are broken down into age groups 3-5, 6-9, 10-14 and 14+.  He has also created a book and DVD teaching kit for parents! Additionally, you may also enjoy his articles, radio program and additional resources available online at www.homeword.com

Dr. Burns shares, “Studies show that when children receive values-centered sex education at home, they are less likely to become sexually promiscuous and more likely to have a healthy view of their bodies and relationships.  With the media introducing sexual topics to children at such a young age, there is no better countermeasure than parents introducing the concepts in these books to their children.”

—Jennifer McBride